not any more
by MagicMinnie
Summary: For QL Quarter Finals. All the words these—these strangers—were saying meant nothing. None of them knew his mother as well as he did. Had.


**AN: **For QLFC Season 7, Quarter Finals. KEEPER: Use the last line of your captains first QL fic this season as your first line. [From AlwaysPadoot's _best ideas come at dawn_.]

**Word Count**: 1033

* * *

**not any more**

**MagicMinnie**

Not any more.

That was all Scorpius could think as people spoke at the funeral. No longer was his mother kind; no longer was his mother caring; no longer was his mother alive. People could say all the nice things that they wanted but none of them meant anything any longer.

All the words these—these strangers—were saying meant nothing. None of them knew his mother as well as he did. Had.

His father stood stoic at his side. Scorpius had noted that he hadn't said a word during the service. Whilst Scorpius stood, tear tracks staining his, his father was pale-faced and silent with his gaze fixed forward. The only sign of solidarity between the two of them was his father's hand on this shoulder. Other than that neither of them spoke. They hadn't for days. Scorpius wasn't even sure his voice worked anymore. It was probably hoarse from all the crying.

As the service came to a close his father gave his shoulder the briefest of squeezes. If Scorpius hadn't been heavily focused on his father's hand he might not have noticed. It was probably the closest to a sign of affection that he was going to get. All it did was make him miss mother's embrace even more.

As they broke apart Scorpius' gaze sought out Albus in the pews behind him. Weaving through the suddenly-alive swell of people, Scorpius made his way across to his best friend.

They stopped—barely a metre of space between them.

"Scorpius." Albus began to speak and one hand nervously went to his hair. "I—I'm sorry."

Without another breath, Scorpius closed the space between them and threw his arms around his friend. He felt Albus freeze—like he always did. He was about to let go when Albus reciprocated. That was all it took for a gross sob to break free from his mouth. Scorpius buried his face into his friend's shoulder and his fingers gripped at the back of Albus' shirt.

"Sorry, sorry," Scorpius gasped, a small part of him was relieved that he could speak after all.

Albus held him tight. "No, don't, don't apologise. Don't."

Scorpius was well aware that his father would call this making a scene, and yet, it was as though the mental wall he had built up to hold everything back just broke.

The room around them was a blur as Albus helped him away from the crowd of people in the room. Scorpius was grateful that Albus was stronger than he looked and held his weight because he couldn't help but lean heavily on him. Guiding him to the side of the room, they sat together on a cushioned pew, and Scorpius hid his face in his hands.

He leaned into Albus.

"Why her? Why my—" He gulped back some air like the room was fast running out of oxygen and then his voice went weak. "My mum, Albus."

The dark-haired boy hadn't ever been great at saying the right thing at the right time so Scorpius appreciated the silence response of Albus putting his arm around his shoulders.

"Thank you for coming," Scorpius whispered.

He closed his eyes on the worst day of his life, grateful that his best friend was at his side.

****HP****

Ice-encrusted grass crunched underfoot as Scorpius stepped up to his mother's grave.

It felt as though he was thirteen years old on a good day when his mother was well enough to sit out in the garden and hum to herself whilst she read.

Except that wasn't the case. He was twenty-three and he was standing at his mother's grave. Flowers in hand, Scorpius let the wind whip around him, biting at his exposed skin as he inhaled deeply. It took him a moment to compose himself enough to look down at the grave and see his mum's name etched there.

_Astoria Malfoy (neé Greengrass)_

_1982-2019_

_A Beautiful Soul _

Swallowing thickly, Scorpius knelt down in the grass, cold damp soaking through his trouser leg.

He removed the wilting flowers that someone had laid last and replaced them with the fresh set he'd brought. It was a therapeutic process, bringing new life to something that was very much the antithesis of life, but his mother had always loved nature. Every moment she could spend outside, she would, so to bring the biggest, brightest flowers he could find felt like the right thing to do.

"Oh, Mum," he began. "Ten years. Ten years and it's not any easier."

His voice broke and he squeezed his lips together to stop the tremble.

He could never stay long. The longer he stayed; the harder it was to leave. Limiting himself to ten minutes had actually been Albus' idea. Okay, he hadn't said it particularly eloquently, but Scorpius knew what he meant.

He always did.

Albus was standing awkwardly by the gate when Scorpius made his way back through the graveyard. He had his right arm crossed over his body, holding the elbow of his left arm, looking somewhat out of place as always. That was his way and it made Scorpius smile because Albus could probably look out of place in their own flat easily if he tried.

Crossing the frosted grass, Albus offered a weak smile and stammered slightly before he spoke. "Oh, um, coat. We should have brought you a coat."

He went to take his own coat off and Scorpius caught his arm before he could.

"I'm fine. Stop worrying." He said before adding as an aside, "I know it's hard."

"I just—" He dropped his arms and exhaled frustratedly. "How, how was she?"

Scorpius dropped his head with an exhaled laugh. "Um, well, not very talkative really."

"Oh, shit, sorry," Albus began. "I didn't mean—I meant. I just."

Scorpius nudged him with his shoulder. "It was a joke, you know, you've heard of those."

Albus rolled his eyes blushing furiously. "Of course I have. Shut up."

Scorpius caught his hand as they walked towards the iron gates of the graveyard and whispered. "Thank you for coming."

Albus bit his lip and nodded softly.

Yes, visiting his mother wasn't any easier, but afterwards, he didn't have to worry about being alone.

Not any more.


End file.
